Clarity in the Abstract.
Updated: Sep 6, 2019
I just want to start off by saying welcome to my website and thank you for taking time from your day to read this. I am super proud that I have begun this journey, a journey of pushing myself to do things that I have always wanted to do but put off for so long. I have been living in fear and self-judgment for years now and this is just a way for me to write about how I have been slowly changing that. How I went from nurturing self-sabotaging behaviours to this new person who is building her self-confidence everyday. This is a fairly new discovery, I would say there was a defining moment that happened in my life March 8th 2019. That is the day I consider to have been reborn. A new Sasha Di emerged but not from nothing. I have been working on my growth and spirituality now for over 6 years. I have looked into dark parts of myself, I dealt with my inner trauma and childhood issues, which I believe is the source of our emotional turmoil as adults. I sought the help of so many different and amazing guides and teachers. After years of “therapy” (I put it in quotes because I did not necessarily speak to a therapist per se but I do consider the experiences I’ve had with various teachers a form of therapy), countless aha moments and many tears, I am proud to say I am comfortable enough now to share my experiences that lead me to discover my passions. These are the subjects I want to write about in these blog posts. But first I want to share how i was called into creating the art I am currently making and its purpose in my life. Enjoy xox.
Before discovering my passion for abstract art I was a realistic, portrait artist. I started painting at the age of 11 years old. It came about quite randomly and thank Buddha it did. I was an anti-social, anxious child who avoided any way possible joining anything group related. I avoided going to summer camp by begging my parents to let me stay at my grandparents all summer. I avoided joining a sports team when my dad suggested I join a soccer team even though we both knew I was good at it. And I avoided big groups of kids at the playground. Finally my parents decided to put their foot down and insisted I choose an extracurricular activity that involved something other than playing the Sims on a Saturday morning. My best friend Jessica was also in search of an activity and her mother had come across an oil painting class. I thought this was perfect. I could hang out with my best friend and a painting and not have to socialize too much. That is when my artistic journey began. A side note, I ended up making life long friends by attending this class and I went every Saturday for three hours for twelve years.
To say my artistic career had its ups and downs is an understatement. Gaining confidence in my abilities took about seventeen years to fully develop and I must admit I still sometimes struggle with it. I began learning techniques such as how to use oil paint, colour mixing and perspective. I got extremely good at copying from a picture or from real life without tracing. This ability was at its peak when I attended Concordia University in the studio arts program at age 24. This program was demanding because it required me to tap into a part of myself I had never accessed. I remember telling myself how am I going to survive this program when I have never created anything on my own because up until that point I had only copied. That year I got a glimpse into my potential, only a little bit of it, but i saw it was possible to create something from nothing. I attended that program for only one year and dropped out because i had already spent four years in Art history, got my degree and then started anew, and honestly i was done with going to school. Something i would later come to regret but only for a little while. I realized later on that everything happens for a reason and something in my soul told me I had other things to experience first.
Fast forward to 2019, up to this point I was very keen on painting realistic portraits but it was not fulfilling me. I knew I was not at my fullest potential but I did not know what my full potential even was. I felt completely blocked creatively. Beginning 2019 I began seeing a life coach and a few months in she read my energy and what she said was literally how my life got flipped turned upside down. She said when it came to my art I needed to stop involving my brain and form a heart to hand connection. At first I was slightly confused to what this meant but I told myself why not try it out, I had nothing to lose. She told me I am being called to create without planning, without judgment and with complete trust in myself. The first couple of paintings I made I had trouble shutting up my brain and not judging myself or the moves I made on canvas. It was hard for me to wrap my brain around not using my brain. I wanted to think up the final piece before even starting. I had been so used to doing that by then it was automatic. So I gathered myself and decided to take it step by step. I began by squeezing paint directly onto the canvas, not trying to picture what colour I was going to make; I started to mix paints straight onto the canvas.
(These are pictures of paintings and drawings I made the year i spent in studio arts. 2015.)
Up until this point I was against painting anything abstract. I had the firm belief that abstract painting was too easy. I believed that making a painting had to take a long time and for me abstract painting was a wham bam thank you ma’am situation. Little did I know it would become the easier form of expression for me and the most emotional. I had been limiting myself before taking this on. I did not even entertain the thought of abstract painting. What my life coach had me realize was that I was painting what I thought people wanted to see and because I was good at realism I kept it up even though I was feeling totally unfulfilled. Once I got the hang of telling my brain to stay out of it and it obeying me, I discovered so many things about what art is to me. I began being authentic about my expression. I discovered what abstract art really is for me but that I will explain in my next blog/personal journal.
For those seeking guidance in their life regarding where you feel stuck or blocked in the physical world or your emotional world I strongly recommend Change Revolution with Julie Anne Christophe. She is a life coach who has helped me change my life for the better. She helped me get to the root causes of my limiting beliefs and what was holding me back. I learned what was holding back my potential and my authenticity. With her guidance I got to a point where I am honest with myself. Doing something like writing a blog, or just expressing myself in writing would have been unheard of just a year ago. It also got me to the point of making decisions in my everyday life towards my goals. Combining masculine and feminine forces within myself while listening to my intuition. I can go on and on but I will leave you with this for now.
If you have any questions regarding Julie Anne's services i left a link below to her page. Also please feel free to leave any suggestions of topics you would like me to write about by sending a message on the home page.
So much love